How to stop overthinking
You might be one of those people who polls all their friends, family and colleagues when you are trying to make a decision:
Should I apply for the promotion? Should I finally tell my business partner they are impossible to work with? Shall I set up my own business? Shall I accept this new client even though I know they will push my boundaries?
I used to be this person, until I realised how utterly confused and exhausted it made me as I tried to reconcile 20 different points of view. By that point I would have absolutely no idea what I believed either.
Or maybe you’re the person who just holds the decision in your head. You hold it. And hold it. And hold it.
Round and round it goes as you come up with pro and con lists that make no difference whatsoever. The unresolved decision continues to drain your precious resources, keeping you stuck and overwhelmed.
Whatever your style, analysis paralysis can hugely undermine our ability to lead ourselves, let alone anyone else. It’s annoying and it’s boring. So why do we do it?
Overthinking protects you
Overthinking is the equivalent of the ‘freeze’ response that our system can default to under feelings of stress and anxiety If we keep the decision safely in our head and not act on it we are potentially protected from:
- Getting it wrong
- Being criticized
- Feeling disappointed
- Experiencing the unknown
- Having to deal with extra work
Over-thinking is a fear-based pattern and when you realise you’re stuck here, changing your emotional state or energy is vital to finally make that decision.
A thought exercise for taking perspective
The purpose of this exercise is to shift your perspective on the decision you’re making. It’s more powerful if you close your eyes and allow your imagination to guide you once you’re familiar with the steps:
- Imagine going out to the future, way out to the point where you are near the end of your life. Perhaps you’re sat in a rocking chair, on a beach or in a sunny patch of grass.
- Connecting with your older self, notice how this version of you is deeply contented and satisfied by their long and fulfilled life. You may see this in their expression or in something else you notice about them.
- From the perspective of your fulfilled, older self, review the life that you lived. What choices did you make in your life that led you to being so content and fulfilled in your old age? What was important to you? Take your time over this and note down anything that comes up.
- Now consider the decision you’re procrastinating over. In light of what you’ve learned from your older self, how does it change your perspective of the decision? How can it help you move forward?
I’d love you to experiment with this technique and let me know how you get on. If you get creative with it and add something new, I’d also love to hear about it.
It can be so empowering to connect with our inner ‘wise one’, who has a more balanced perspective on our lives and can often help us relax into where our life is taking us.
If you’d like some additional support in making an important decision, don’t hesitate to book in for my free call for you to gain more clarity.