7 easy confidence tips for taking action
Here’s a conversation that happens with 95% of my clients:
Client: “I really want to do it. It would be so amazing if I could . I’ve been thinking about doing it for ages. Sometimes I plan to do it, but I never actually do. I’m just too overwhelmed. And I’m scared I’m going to look stupid”.
Me: “What would need to be different for you to take action?”
Client: “I just need more confidence. If I had more self-belief that would change everything”.
Well, help is at hand. I’ve compiled 7 of my favourite tried and tested confidence tips to give you the boost you need to take action.
1. Create a confidence soundtrack.
If you could think of a song or piece of music that makes you feel confident and fires you up, what would it be?
Maybe the music reminds you of a time when you felt particularly care-free and confident. Perhaps there’s something about the beat or even the artist singing who you can ‘channel’ when you listen to it.
Experiment with listening to the music and moving your body before you attempt to take action towards something you’re feeling queasy about. By connecting to your inner confidence and getting out of your head, you’ll find it far easier to take action.
2. Connect to your confidence story.
Without necessarily realising it, you’re always creating a narrative about your life and who you are. Some people create the ‘lacking confidence’ narrative and end up finding all the evidence they can find to support that story.
But what if you were to connect with your confidence story instead?
In a journal, write down a memory where you felt at your most confident. Note down all the visual details, sounds, smells and how you felt in your body. What did you believe about yourself at that time?
It can be particularly powerful to write this in the third person e.g. “Sally stood up on stage…” as this often frees up any part of you that might feel critical or self-conscious about writing about yourself.
By connecting to your confidence back-story, you’re strengthening your self-belief. With greater self-belief comes the ability to do hard things and take the risks you’re secretly longing to take.
3. Embody confident posture.
Whilst people talk about the mind and body separately, they work together as one system. When you’re feeling confident, you will naturally hold yourself differently.
Instead of me prescribing you a ‘confident stance’, close your eyes and connect to a memory where you felt at your most confident (like in tip 2). This time just concentrate on how your body felt.
How did you hold yourself differently?
What small adjustments can you make to your posture right now that makes the confident feeling even stronger?
The more regularly you practice embodying confidence, the easier it becomes. Just like flexing a muscle, you can move into your confident state by making these small adjustments to your posture and your confident mindset will follow.
4. How can I serve?
This question is particularly powerful for ‘visibility’ goals like presentations, interviews or when you want to put yourself out there more for your business or employer. Your worries might naturally turn to yourself “what if I’m not good enough?” “what if I fail?” “what if I embarrass myself?” All these beliefs stir up nerves and cause procrastination or underperformance.
The cure here is to turn your attention outwards instead and ask “how can I serve?”
In whatever it is you’re doing, how can you help your audience? What would help them most? What would be most useful to them? What will your help bring them?
By focusing on how you can help others, concerns about your confidence levels naturally take a back seat.
5. Use a confident scent.
This is a remarkably simple way of connecting with your confident self. Scent is a very reliable way of associating with an emotion because the ‘hit’ into your body is strong and immediate.
Inhale a perfume, cologne or essential oil that reminds you of a time when you felt confident and you’ll find yourself transported there with all the accompanying thoughts and feelings. When I want a confidence boost, I put on my favourite perfume which reminds me of feeling dressed up, looking my best and feeling excited about what lies ahead.
6. Connect to something bigger than you.
Just like the “how can I serve?” question, connecting to a bigger vision or purpose shifts your perspective and boosts your confidence.
For some people “something bigger” this might mean God, the Universe, nature, or Love. For others it’s about connecting to the positive impact the goal will bring to others. Perhaps your new project will change lives for the better. Maybe being able to spend more time with your family will transform your relationships with them.
Don’t get stressed about ‘finding your purpose’. Ask yourself: “if there was something bigger than me which could support and strengthen me to take action towards this goal, what would it be?”
7. Use your strengths.
What are you naturally good at? When do you find yourself feeling most like ‘you?’
I’ve noticed that when my clients are having a crisis of confidence, they’re often not creating enough moments to use their strengths.
If you’re not given the opportunity to use your strengths in your current job, it’s even more important to use them at home or volunteering.
I was once at a conference where we were asked to close our eyes and consider “what would life be like if you were told that you weren’t allowed to use your strengths?”
Our responses were: “flat” “empty” “dull” “bleak” “pointless” “frustrated” “miserable”.
If you’re not connected to your strengths, even if you use them in a completely different context, it’s going to sap your confidence. Making time for your strengths will make you feel more positive, confident and resilient in the face of challenges.
I hope you’ve found these tips helpful. If you want to explore what more confidence would bring you, book in for my free 45 minute Clarity and Confidence Call and we can have a no-pressure discussion about it.
May 17th, 2021